This is just a quick update, just like always, and I don't have a whole lot of new information to be honest. No, I don't think I'll be catching up on the sculptober sculpts that I missed. I have to keep my grades up and frankly I'm not so sure I'll be able to do that for a couple of my classes. I desperately want to sculpt more, but by the time I'm done studying each night, it's an effort just to get up into my bed, let alone start projects. I will be working on some holiday merch soon, and in fact have some ideas for red-green and blue-white cake earrings, so don't think I'm stopping entirely. Plus, hey, I still have some of my anonymously given premium membership and I don't want that to go to waste (because let's face it, it's not only awesome to have, but also super generous that someone gave it to me and I gotta make 'em proud!).
On the writing front, I may or may not be uploading some classwork short stories that I wrote. I still have to revise and expand them, but I'm thinking that I may be confident enough in them to share. I've been trying to write more poetry, but as you may notice, that hasn't worked out well enough to share. My emotions are really weirdly fragile, and so it's hard to write stuff and really feel that it's me. Sometimes my depression comes back and inhibits my writing anything, and sometimes I'm just so happy that I see no reason to write, as it's more a way of venting my emotions I find.
On the social front, there's a whole lot of nothing going on. College is full of guys, but everyone has standards and everyone has different standards, and finding two people who match is pretty darn difficult, as I'm sure many of you can imagine. I've found some people who match the most important ideals of mine, but they're not looking/on the market/interested. I'd love to say that it doesn't hurt, but the fact is that I know I have a while and that the idea of finding my "perfect prince charming" (hah!) wasn't something I thought would happen in year one. A guy or two have already confessed affection for me, but they're not what I was looking for. Silly as all this sounds, I mention it since love and affection, and lack thereof is where I draw a great deal of emotion from. But hey, last night I slept in the same bed as my best friend and he and I cuddled some and I've honestly never felt safer in months. For the first time in ages, I didn't have nightmares, and though what I dreamed of was odd, each time I awoke to find him peacefully next to me and I could fall back asleep quickly. I knew he'd keep me safe. He's still the only one I trust to touch me for extended periods of time, even around my hips (a part I'm particularly sensitive about). I know that someday that will change, but I still have a ways to go before I think I'll be able to let anyone else hold me or touch me longer than a hug.
Lastly, on the front of those body insecurities, I'm pleased to say that I have only six more pounds to lose before I'll have an average body weight! That means that since starting my diet on January 1st this year, I'll have lost about 40 pounds. In the start of the year I was obese according to the BMI, and as any of you who follow me closely know, losing weight has always been a struggle for me in many ways. It's true that my final goal is to lose about 80 pounds, which will put me at the low end of "average" on the BMI, but as far as I'm concerned right now, having currently lost 32 pounds is amazing.
I don't have anything more to say for now, but I hope to be posting lots of clay again soon, or writing, or whatever art strikes my fancy frankly. And as for all of you, I wish you great days until next I speak with you or write a journal. Happy crafting!