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About Artisan Crafts / Hobbyist Premium Member BethanyFemale/United States Groups :iconbroken-hearted-poets: Broken-Hearted-Poets
The wounds are deep...
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Deviant for 3 Years
2 Month Premium Membership:
Given by an Anonymous Deviant
Statistics 405 Deviations 553 Comments 10,965 Pageviews

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What's the best way to deal with sadness/depression? 

3 deviants said Listening to Music
1 deviant said Making Art
1 deviant said Other (Please Comment)
No deviants said Dancing
No deviants said Read
No deviants said Talking to someone
No deviants said Crying




Love to read by Claire-stamps So Many Books by LaPurr Fantasy is my Reality stamp by purgatori I Love Chocolate by Sophibelle LovePOTO Stamp by Brinatello Cats are cute by kuraishinju Smile For Me Stamp by Ilman-Lintu Smores Stamp by NaruButt Jareth Juggling Stamp by TwilightProwler Jareth + Sarah Ballroom Stamp by TwilightProwler Labyrinth by Songficcer Bad Mood Stamps Smiling by stamps-club Groucho Marx Quotes 1 by Claire-stamps Background Music by Skylark-93 Sarcastic Stamp by PixieDust01 Marshmallow Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Mind Stamp by jenepooh Extinction Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Useless Cool-looking Stamp by X-wing9 wrong reality by WolfcatStamps MY ONE AND ONLY STAMPPPP by pumpkyn Drugfree Stamp by LiveToCode I Respect All Art Stamp Revamp by Sinister-Starfeesh More time... by prosaix I love kawaii by prosaix Tunisia by SirvanaRachana Nomnom attack stamp animated by Sinister-Starfeesh Toast Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Useless knowledge by paramoreSUCKS The power of flight by prosaix My favourite sport by prosaix Sweet tooth by prosaix Gimme more sleep by prosaix Dinosaur Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Supernatural stamp by kshapiro Doctor Who Stamp by Malcassairo


Clay, Poetry, and Boys (Oy)

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 9, 2014, 11:34 AM

This is just a quick update, just like always, and I don't have a whole lot of new information to be honest. No, I don't think I'll be catching up on the sculptober sculpts that I missed. I have to keep my grades up and frankly I'm not so sure I'll be able to do that for a couple of my classes. I desperately want to sculpt more, but by the time I'm done studying each night, it's an effort just to get up into my bed, let alone start projects. I will be working on some holiday merch soon, and in fact have some ideas for red-green and blue-white cake earrings, so don't think I'm stopping entirely. Plus, hey, I still have some of my anonymously given premium membership and I don't want that to go to waste (because let's face it, it's not only awesome to have, but also super generous that someone gave it to me and I gotta make 'em proud!).

On the writing front, I may or may not be uploading some classwork short stories that I wrote. I still have to revise and expand them, but I'm thinking that I may be confident enough in them to share. I've been trying to write more poetry, but as you may notice, that hasn't worked out well enough to share. My emotions are really weirdly fragile, and so it's hard to write stuff and really feel that it's me. Sometimes my depression comes back and inhibits my writing anything, and sometimes I'm just so happy that I see no reason to write, as it's more a way of venting my emotions I find. 

On the social front, there's a whole lot of nothing going on. College is full of guys, but everyone has standards and everyone has different standards, and finding two people who match is pretty darn difficult, as I'm sure many of you can imagine. I've found some people who match the most important ideals of mine, but they're not looking/on the market/interested. I'd love to say that it doesn't hurt, but the fact is that I know I have a while and that the idea of finding my "perfect prince charming" (hah!) wasn't something I thought would happen in year one. A guy or two have already confessed affection for me, but they're not what I was looking for. Silly as all this sounds, I mention it since love and affection, and lack thereof is where I draw a great deal of emotion from. But hey, last night I slept in the same bed as my best friend and he and I cuddled some and I've honestly never felt safer in months. For the first time in ages, I didn't have nightmares, and though what I dreamed of was odd, each time I awoke to find him peacefully next to me and I could fall back asleep quickly. I knew he'd keep me safe. He's still the only one I trust to touch me for extended periods of time, even around my hips (a part I'm particularly sensitive about). I know that someday that will change, but I still have a ways to go before I think I'll be able to let anyone else hold me or touch me longer than a hug.

Lastly, on the front of those body insecurities, I'm pleased to say that I have only six more pounds to lose before I'll have an average body weight! That means that since starting my diet on January 1st this year, I'll have lost about 40 pounds. In the start of the year I was obese according to the BMI, and as any of you who follow me closely know, losing weight has always been a struggle for me in many ways. It's true that my final goal is to lose about 80 pounds, which will put me at the low end of "average" on the BMI, but as far as I'm concerned right now, having currently lost 32 pounds is amazing. 

I don't have anything more to say for now, but I hope to be posting lots of clay again soon, or writing, or whatever art strikes my fancy frankly. And as for all of you, I wish you great days until next I speak with you or write a journal. Happy crafting!

  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: Enya
  • Reading: Rapt


Artist | Hobbyist | Artisan Crafts
United States
So if youre reading this, I guess you wanna know about me. well, Here's a little list that should help ya:

I love drawing
Love singing
Love movies
ADORE cuddling and snuggling if theres someone willing
Think the outside world is simply stunning
I may be short, but I AM NOT YOUR ARMREST!!!!!!
I suffered from on and off anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and have severe depression when alone for a long time, but I'm just about cured now I'd say.
Animals are one of my many passions!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
If ever anyone needs a friend, i'm your girl. I'm here no matter what when I'm needed, and as loyal as a puppy. (But no worries, I wont shed on your couch =P )

So bassically, I love drawing, singing, and watching movies. I also loooooooooooooooooooove cuddling, and going to the beach to walk barefoot through the warm sand. I struggle with keeping on the bright side of life, and a few other "problems" but i perservere, and am proud to say I'm still alive. :)

Current Residence: Pluto (ITS STILL A PLANET TO ME!!!!!!!!!!)
Favourite genre of music: alternative or soft rock
Favourite style of art: poetry, sculpture
MP3 player of choice: ipod
Shell of choice: conch
Wallpaper of choice: anything that expresses me
Favourite cartoon character: Popeye? Danny Phantom? Snap (from ChalkZone)?


                       you want to live in the
                       you think, "Why didn't it
                       your life moves far too

You want to stay in your memories.
                       You want to keep you head in the clouds.
                                               You want to wallow in broken childhood dreams.

But you have to keep going.
                       But you have to grow up.
                                               But you have to be the adult.

Because sometimes is hurts
                       But you keep moving forward
                                               Because life always gets better.

The Past Hurts
I logged into facebook today to see that some of my old friends are still friends with my ex by way of some pictures they posted. I don't mind that they're friends, but I was hit hard in the gut and it hurt to see his face. I'm glad he's happy but I will always regret the empty space that lives between us. I know I have to grow up and move on, but I don't know how possible that always is. But I have to. Because some day I'll feel better. Life will get better. It already has. I'll be happy one day, right? I don't know.
Pikabean by BethyLuv215
Introducing the new Pikachu hamsterbean! I made this from a pattern for something called hamsterbeans, which would be the body shape. It's knit in the round (not actually amigurami -- it's mochi mochi!). I added the stripes, ears, tail, cheeks, and mouth. Don't ask me the pattern for those things because I was wingin' it! Anyway, this is a hannukka present for a special friend of mine who likes Pokemon. Let's hope he likes this too. :)
Christmas Unicorn by BethyLuv215
Christmas Unicorn
Handmade out of Sculpey III polymer clay, this marbled Christmas unicorn is surely filled with magic. I bet Santa doesn't have anything like this!


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alwaysorange Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014   Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the watch!
TheKillerLance Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the favorite! :+fav: :squee:
Balsa1 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014
Welcome to :iconclay-lovers: !!! I hope you will have a great time :) (Smile)
Demite Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fav, appreciate it ! <3 C:
starwars98 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for faving.
Luna-cuteXD Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014   Artisan Crafter
Hello, thanks so much for the Fav, i´m happy that you like my Artwork :iconheartrollplz:
ClayCreation Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the watch!
laydiKroft Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014
Thanks for the :+fav: on my Steampunk books…
TheOwlsRoost Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the watch!!
SakuraSculpture Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Awesome art!
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