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About Artisan Crafts / Hobbyist Premium Member BethanyFemale/United States Groups :iconbroken-hearted-poets: Broken-Hearted-Poets
The wounds are deep...
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What's the best way to deal with sadness/depression? 

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Clay, Poetry, and Boys (Oy)

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 9, 2014, 11:34 AM


This is just a quick update, just like always, and I don't have a whole lot of new information to be honest. No, I don't think I'll be catching up on the sculptober sculpts that I missed. I have to keep my grades up and frankly I'm not so sure I'll be able to do that for a couple of my classes. I desperately want to sculpt more, but by the time I'm done studying each night, it's an effort just to get up into my bed, let alone start projects. I will be working on some holiday merch soon, and in fact have some ideas for red-green and blue-white cake earrings, so don't think I'm stopping entirely. Plus, hey, I still have some of my anonymously given premium membership and I don't want that to go to waste (because let's face it, it's not only awesome to have, but also super generous that someone gave it to me and I gotta make 'em proud!).

On the writing front, I may or may not be uploading some classwork short stories that I wrote. I still have to revise and expand them, but I'm thinking that I may be confident enough in them to share. I've been trying to write more poetry, but as you may notice, that hasn't worked out well enough to share. My emotions are really weirdly fragile, and so it's hard to write stuff and really feel that it's me. Sometimes my depression comes back and inhibits my writing anything, and sometimes I'm just so happy that I see no reason to write, as it's more a way of venting my emotions I find. 

On the social front, there's a whole lot of nothing going on. College is full of guys, but everyone has standards and everyone has different standards, and finding two people who match is pretty darn difficult, as I'm sure many of you can imagine. I've found some people who match the most important ideals of mine, but they're not looking/on the market/interested. I'd love to say that it doesn't hurt, but the fact is that I know I have a while and that the idea of finding my "perfect prince charming" (hah!) wasn't something I thought would happen in year one. A guy or two have already confessed affection for me, but they're not what I was looking for. Silly as all this sounds, I mention it since love and affection, and lack thereof is where I draw a great deal of emotion from. But hey, last night I slept in the same bed as my best friend and he and I cuddled some and I've honestly never felt safer in months. For the first time in ages, I didn't have nightmares, and though what I dreamed of was odd, each time I awoke to find him peacefully next to me and I could fall back asleep quickly. I knew he'd keep me safe. He's still the only one I trust to touch me for extended periods of time, even around my hips (a part I'm particularly sensitive about). I know that someday that will change, but I still have a ways to go before I think I'll be able to let anyone else hold me or touch me longer than a hug.

Lastly, on the front of those body insecurities, I'm pleased to say that I have only six more pounds to lose before I'll have an average body weight! That means that since starting my diet on January 1st this year, I'll have lost about 40 pounds. In the start of the year I was obese according to the BMI, and as any of you who follow me closely know, losing weight has always been a struggle for me in many ways. It's true that my final goal is to lose about 80 pounds, which will put me at the low end of "average" on the BMI, but as far as I'm concerned right now, having currently lost 32 pounds is amazing. 

I don't have anything more to say for now, but I hope to be posting lots of clay again soon, or writing, or whatever art strikes my fancy frankly. And as for all of you, I wish you great days until next I speak with you or write a journal. Happy crafting!


  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: Enya
  • Reading: Rapt

deviantID

BethyLuv215
Bethany
Artist | Hobbyist | Artisan Crafts
United States
So if youre reading this, I guess you wanna know about me. well, Here's a little list that should help ya:

I love drawing
Love singing
Love movies
ADORE cuddling and snuggling if theres someone willing
Think the outside world is simply stunning
I may be short, but I AM NOT YOUR ARMREST!!!!!!
I suffered from on and off anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and have severe depression when alone for a long time, but I'm just about cured now I'd say.
Animals are one of my many passions!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
If ever anyone needs a friend, i'm your girl. I'm here no matter what when I'm needed, and as loyal as a puppy. (But no worries, I wont shed on your couch =P )

So bassically, I love drawing, singing, and watching movies. I also loooooooooooooooooooove cuddling, and going to the beach to walk barefoot through the warm sand. I struggle with keeping on the bright side of life, and a few other "problems" but i perservere, and am proud to say I'm still alive. :)

Current Residence: Pluto (ITS STILL A PLANET TO ME!!!!!!!!!!)
Favourite genre of music: alternative or soft rock
Favourite style of art: poetry, sculpture
MP3 player of choice: ipod
Shell of choice: conch
Wallpaper of choice: anything that expresses me
Favourite cartoon character: Popeye? Danny Phantom? Snap (from ChalkZone)?
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:iconthekillerlance:
TheKillerLance Featured By Owner 8 hours ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the favorite! :+fav: :squee:
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Balsa1 Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Welcome to :iconclay-lovers: !!! I hope you will have a great time :) (Smile)
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Demite Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fav, appreciate it ! <3 C:
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starwars98 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for faving.
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Luna-cuteXD Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014   Artisan Crafter
Hello, thanks so much for the Fav, i´m happy that you like my Artwork :iconheartrollplz:
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ClayCreation Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the watch!
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laydiKroft Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014
Thanks for the :+fav: on my Steampunk books laydikroft.deviantart.com/art/…
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TheOwlsRoost Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the watch!!
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SakuraSculpture Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Awesome art!
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BethyLuv215 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
hank you very much!!! :squee:
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