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About Artisan Crafts / Hobbyist Premium Member BethanyFemale/United States Groups :iconbroken-hearted-poets: Broken-Hearted-Poets
The wounds are deep...
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Poems and College

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 23, 2014, 6:21 PM


I would like to wish everyone a good end of Passover, and I hope everyone suffered well. 

Now, down to business! As you may have noticed, I am recently putting up more poetry. I know that a lot of my recent work has been clay, but I find it difficult as the year ends and AP testing approaches to get into clay, even though I have a bunch of half finished projects that I've been doing over the past few months in attempts to do more clay. Since my amount of emotional outlets has therefore decreased, and so more poetry is coming. At least it seems that for now I am over the hurdle of a writers block. Not that it won't happen again I'm sure, but when emotions run high, so must the amount of artistic activities that I partake in. I hope however that those of you who watch me for my clay will stay through my poetry spell. I have honestly missed writing, and it's true that I am happy to be dabbling in it again. As the end of my high school career looms ever more closely, I find myself wondering what will become of my DA self. I would be sad if I had to give up this site for the most part, but I know that education is exceedingly important, and frying my brain with art, however beautiful, will not give me a degree in art or psychology.

That's another thing: I am starting to get very scared for college. I am glad to be leaving, but more and more I wonder, "what if I don't do the right type of art?" "What if my art isn't good enough?" "What if I can't actually help people?" and so many more "What if" questions. I'm looking at all my courses and options and learning how to plan everything so that I can have a coherent schedule, and I really am very scared that everything I think I know will be wrong and that what now makes me smart (frankly I'm not sure how much there really is of that) will be on the lower side of average or even acceptable. I want people to like me, but I don't know if that's going to be as hard for me in college as it has been the rest of my life. I want to be me, but how much can I really be who I am if I don't know who I am or how to be entirely me? Every day I feel fine with such a question and have an answer, but when evening comes I start to worry. Yeah yeah I know, be confident and don't worry. I just find that confidence is easier in the morning. Night rolls around and I'm like, "woah, how do I do anything?" It's scary.

On my final note, I will no longer be giving updates about my weight loss. I don't know if anyone actually cared or if it was solely for me, but due to a promise I made about eating, I will be doing things differently and would feel better not mentioning my progress, or possible lack thereof. That's all for tonight. I hope everyone is doing well. Goodnight everyone.

  • Mood: Rejected
  • Listening to: I'm Just a Kid -- Simple Plan
  • Reading: Out of Oz

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BethyLuv215
Bethany
Artist | Hobbyist | Artisan Crafts
United States
So if youre reading this, I guess you wanna know about me. well, Here's a little list that should help ya:

I love drawing
Love singing
Love movies
ADORE cuddling and snuggling if theres someone willing
Think the outside world is simply stunning
I may be short, but I AM NOT YOUR ARMREST!!!!!!
I suffered from on and off anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and have severe depression when alone for a long time, but I'm just about cured now I'd say.
Animals are one of my many passions!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
If ever anyone needs a friend, i'm your girl. I'm here no matter what when I'm needed, and as loyal as a puppy. (But no worries, I wont shed on your couch =P )

So bassically, I love drawing, singing, and watching movies. I also loooooooooooooooooooove cuddling, and going to the beach to walk barefoot through the warm sand. I struggle with keeping on the bright side of life, and a few other "problems" but i perservere, and am proud to say I'm still alive. :)

Current Residence: Pluto (ITS STILL A PLANET TO ME!!!!!!!!!!)
Favourite genre of music: alternative or soft rock
Favourite style of art: poetry, sculpture
MP3 player of choice: ipod
Shell of choice: conch
Wallpaper of choice: anything that expresses me
Favourite cartoon character: Popeye? Danny Phantom? Snap (from ChalkZone)?
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:iconmy-sword-is-bigger:
My-Sword-is-Bigger Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

:iconimhappylaplz:

 :icontry-your-page:

Hello (and sorry for advertising) ^^; Seeing as you're a writer, I thought you might be interested in my group Try-Your-Page and it's where you post the first page (or any excerpt) of a story/novel and see if others would turn the page. Please join if you're looking for critique or just something to read. :) The rules are that you have to comment on others' works in order to submit, so there's a high chance you DO get feedback

 

Here, have a cookie for my bothering you:

:iconcookie1plz::iconcookie2plz::iconcookie3plz:

:iconcookie4plz::iconcookie5plz::iconcookie6plz:

:iconcookie7plz::iconcookie8plz::iconcookie9plz:

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:iconlordeboy:
LordeBoy Mar 31, 2014
hey I missed you
Reply
:iconnadir-sader:
Nadir-Sader Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Just wanna put it out there that you're a great poet, keep it up!:D (Big Grin) :D (Big Grin) 
Reply
:iconbethyluv215:
BethyLuv215 Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
hahaha thank you so much!!!!! that means so much to  me! ^.^ thanks!!!!
Reply
:iconnadir-sader:
Nadir-Sader Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Np, wouldn't have said it if you didn't deserve it. ^^
Reply
:iconurahameshi:
UraHameshi Mar 9, 2014  Student Interface Designer
Hey! Thanks for the kind visit and fave, I appreciate it :)
Reply
:iconbethyluv215:
BethyLuv215 Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
no prob! youre worth it! and thank YOU for the llama!
Reply
:iconhunterwuff:
Hunterwuff Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for watching me ^.^
Reply
:iconbethyluv215:
BethyLuv215 Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
thank you for being an amazing  artist! 
Reply
:iconsaloscraftshop:
Saloscraftshop Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
thank you for the watch :D
Reply
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