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A Memory To TreasureFingers cold as ice as I lay upon my bedsheets.
What has become of the girl who never cried?
What happened to the girl who always smiled?
Why do these scars cover my body?
Why am I proud of them?
Why can't I stop?
For you I stayed clean.
For you I stayed strong.
For you I promised not to die.
As time goes on, I feel my heartbeat grow weaker.
I wasn't ready to leave the hospital.
I never should have let my heart be taken again.
If I don't make it, please remember me.
If I lose dignity and virginity and life, don't hate me please.
If this should be my last day, let my life be a memory you treasure.
You Are GoneYou smile but it's only a picture.
You laugh but it's only in my memory.
You kiss me but it's only a forgotten possibility.
You hold me in waking and sleep, but it's only a dream left behind.
Do you remember the day we met?
Do you remember the jokes we used to make?
Do you remember when I cried and you kissed me?
Do you remember when I fell asleep in your arms?
Sometimes I look at your picture and I cry.
Sometimes I relive our dates in my head.
Sometimes I think of all the possibilities we had together.
Sometimes I dream that you're still here with me.
But you don't smile at me anymore.
But you and I don't talk, let alone laugh.
But you will never kiss me again.
But you will never hold me like you once did.
Notice MeLook up from your desk.
Look up from your book.
Look up from your laptop
or iPod and songs.
Why can't you see me?
Why don't you care?
Why won't you answer my letters?
Do you even know my name?
Do you even recognize my face?
Do you even think of my eyes?
What's Left of MeTear my heart out, rip apart my soul.
That's what I've done to myself.
Break me to pieces because I'm so weak.
That's what I am: Weak.
Let someone love me, build a world around them.
A Lover's PleaHow can I explain the things I've done?
How can I let myself do what I do?
I can't stop thinking about you, though I don't know why.
I can't stop checking if you're safe.
Why can't I just let you go?
Why must my heart still beat your name?
I see your face and my eyes water.
I look at the pictures of us and my breath catches.
Why can't I live by that saying by Dr. Seuss?
"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."
Why must my heart break from the happiness that you brought me?
I'm sorry I didn't cherish you as I should have,
Or show you the love in my heart.
I'm sorry if we went too fast,
And I'm sorry that our time has passed.
I know you won't hear this plea,
But maybe some day, together again we can be.
What Have I Done?Each day I must resist
The urge to tear myself
Apart. Each day I have
Tried so hard not to harm
Myself, out of love for you.
Part of me knows that
I'm doing is for the best,
Yet part of me thinks self-
Harm is the best thing to do.
How is it that I began to heal
When you loved me, and the
Day you said that love was gone,
My will went in reverse.
He is DeathThe wind whispers soft on skin
The breeze lifts hair and goosebumps
The river flows fast and loud
and my heart is cool and calm.
But that is not the whispering wind
And that is not what causes my gooseflesh.
That is not a river pure and flowing
And my heart begins to race.
The cloak of night He wears has brushed me.
He breathes down my neck.
Blood of His victims stains the river.
And my heart gives a sudden jolt.
He is Death,
who reapes the innocent
deep in the night.
When You Loved MeI used to dream about you
those days that I lay in bed
cozy next to a stuffed animal you'd once given me.
I used to see you everywhere
you'd smile at me
and you would hold me just like I loved.
I used to taste you on my lips
a sweet, tender touch like caramelized sugar
memory that I never wanted to let go of.
Now I dream about you
your eyes hateful and your words angry
all the while you are clearly happier without me.
Now I see you everywhere
turning your back to me the moment I come near
disappearing as another ghost of my past.
Now I taste you on my lips
and I feel as close to death as life allows
as I remember when you made my life worth living
with just a simple kiss...
A kiss I will never taste again.
I Don't Know PainI don't know pain-
What has ever hurt me?
What have I had to deal with
That has ripped me apart-
-Truly ripped me apart-
Other than my hyperbolic tendencies
Or bleeding heart.
I don't know hurt-
What has ever hurt me?
Nothing has scratched out my mind,
Nothing physical anyway,
No pain that ever held me prey
That wasn't torn more in someone else,
That broke them where they lay.
And if I don't know hurt or pain,
Where is my right to feel it?
And where is my right to complain,
With vain attempts to reveal it?
It makes no sense, I realise that,
My retrospective eyes are only duo.
So why, then, do I feel so useless,
So empty of selflessness
That I no longer choose to think
Due to the pain I can't be feeling
And the hurt that can't be there.
And farther down,
Into this hole,
That is known as
No light can be found.
And I have to wonder,
Will I ever get out?
Will I ever smile?
Or will I continue going through the motions of life,
Never really taking anything in,
For fear that even more darkness will creep in,
And bring me down further?
Will I continue to live life halfway,
Never remembering all the things I should,
Never taking all the chances offered?
Will I ever be sane again?
The Fog of War The Fog of War
Look behind the viel and not be disgusted by the sight,
Love me for me and accept my stained plight,
I just want them to accept me for who I am,
This is the plea of the dying man.
Smoke and mirrors; cloak and dagger,
I stumble around blinded, an inglorious stagger,
The red mist descends in a cloudy haze,
Here in the dark I will spend my last days.
Right before the end when my life flashes away,
I regret everything I thought but never did say,
Curled up alone on the cold dead ground,
Here lies my body just waiting to be found.
6. Break Away
The necklace is taken off
never to be worn again.
The walls are back in place
never to allow anyone in again.
You said you would never lie
but in the end you did.
You said that would would never hurt me
That was your lie.
So, I break this link
I don't want it anymore.
It is just a reminder of what is gone.
You showed me that once again people can not be trusted.
All I am good for is helping others
and even at that I am failing.
Because when you can't help yourself,
how can you help others?
You said that you would help
But where are you now?
I haven't heard from you in over six months.
Not since she saw you
and these emotions started to spiral.
I have kept holding on to this whole thing.
And you know what?
It is not worth it.
It causes me more pain then good.
So I am saying this with the most certainty that I have had in a long time.
I don't want it anymore.
The bond is
b r o k e n.
Weigh you down
Since rash decisions make you spin around
You stop and stare
Is there something there?
Brush your fingers across my hand
Not a mistake because I can feel you there
Squeeze my fingers
Smile at me
Hand goes numb
You miss me?
Finally after three long months you feel my pain
Only memories remain
Your eyes scream your pain
"I never stopped loving you
I couldn't if I tried
You are my first, my one and only
Please, one more chance
How Much?I thought I'd finally caught a break
Maybe after all this pain I've found solitude
But the whole time you were looking at me, you pictured her
Everytime you found your way back to me it meant nothing
That look when you see me, was only because I reminded you of her
But how can you deny that?
The glint in your eyes and the way you let me touch you
This connection I feel to you even now
Do I mean something to you? Or was I just naive?
I still love you.
But I hate myself.
Because I love you.
a concept? Or
something you feel
toward some one?
anyone feel it? Or
do we all just think
it, and try to tell ourselves
its real? And that its
PetalsFalling from the sky with a stabbed heart
and surrounded by red petals from another world,
eyes slowly closing as memories flash through
the dying mind that loves nothing more.
Dead and bloody corpse now rests upon
a frozen mountain up above near the heavens,
the night brought the shine of stars
to bmake the sorrowful funeral brighter.
The snow and ice mirror the starry sky
in the hopes of perfect silence to begin,
winds of frost howl across the pass
and snowflakes calmly cry upon the cold, cold ground.
Petals arrive late as always and land
by the frozen grave of the unnamed,
the moon at last shows its own gaze
and sets it on the land of the dead.
The tears of a forgotten widow
drop on the uncaring floor,
the curse of love struck again,
killing with a gentle knife.
Not That DayNo one wants to remember their worst nightmare.
No one wants to relive the pain.
No one wants to go back to a time without joy.
No one may want to, but the memories remain.
There was a time when I trusted people.
There was a time when I let others inside.
There was a time when every bruise was accidental.
There was a time, but that time is long past.
Maybe some day I'll have the will to live.
Maybe some day I'll learn to love again.
Maybe some day my scars will heal.
Maybe some day, but today is not that day.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More