literature

Suicidal Hell

Deviation Actions

BethyLuv215's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

If in this world I come to naught
Remind them that I never fought.

If here I die alone and forgotten
Tell them I was plain and rotten.

All my life I've worked so hard
Yet here I stand with no plays left; no cards.

Life is grand when you are small
But it's all death -- destruction -- when you grow tall.

Throw away worry and throw away fears.
Stop the pathetic toll chimes and tears.

So when they ring that final bell
I'll bid you join me, here in Suicidal Hell.
F*ck my life. I really am getting worse. Nothing helps me. I'm not worth it anymore. But of course no one cares what I say or do anyways so why not??? I wont kill myself. i'm too much a coward to do it. But I promise that death would be worse than this. this is hell. And so I feel death by suicide would be better, therefore, my world is a living hell. Suicidal Hell.
© 2011 - 2024 BethyLuv215
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zyg0tic's avatar
-hugs-

It doesn't take bravery to kill yourself. I don't mean to be harsh, but it takes a profound ignorance. When I was suicidal (attempted 3 times) I was really ignorant of so many things that I've now come to know about life, love, truth, hope, purpose etc.

If I'd made the awful, foolish decision (I'm still a fool of course haha) to end my own life, I would never have gained those needful things that were waiting just around the corner. I can still feel down, very down, way low, but its a lot different now I know what I didn't before. I was young and nobody really explained it to me.

A very important thing is to not shut-down the lines of communication with the people who can help or at least listen to you and give you a big hug. Sometimes people get this 'I don't care' attitude about everything and reject the help of people who really care about them and want the best for them.

One of the things I thought about when I was suicidal was that if I was willing to contemplate killing myself, which presents the ultimate risk because it was entirely unknown to me what would actually happen (what if its not just non-existence and there really is judgement...) why wasn't I willing to take a risk on life? I'm not saying people should be reckless and try to hurt themselves, do drugs or sleep with whoever... I mean, take a risk on actually asking that girl out, take a risk on taking that class, take a risk on actually trying to do well in school, take a risk on forgiving the people who make your life hard, take a risk on waiting for your current circumstances to change, take a risk on saving money, take a risk on doing nice things for yourself and other people, etc etc.