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A Lover's PleaHow can I explain the things I've done?
How can I let myself do what I do?
I can't stop thinking about you, though I don't know why.
I can't stop checking if you're safe.
Why can't I just let you go?
Why must my heart still beat your name?
I see your face and my eyes water.
I look at the pictures of us and my breath catches.
Why can't I live by that saying by Dr. Seuss?
"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."
Why must my heart break from the happiness that you brought me?
I'm sorry I didn't cherish you as I should have,
Or show you the love in my heart.
I'm sorry if we went too fast,
And I'm sorry that our time has passed.
I know you won't hear this plea,
But maybe some day, together again we can be.
What's Left of MeTear my heart out, rip apart my soul.
That's what I've done to myself.
Break me to pieces because I'm so weak.
That's what I am: Weak.
Let someone love me, build a world around them.
Not That DayNo one wants to remember their worst nightmare.
No one wants to relive the pain.
No one wants to go back to a time without joy.
No one may want to, but the memories remain.
There was a time when I trusted people.
There was a time when I let others inside.
There was a time when every bruise was accidental.
There was a time, but that time is long past.
Maybe some day I'll have the will to live.
Maybe some day I'll learn to love again.
Maybe some day my scars will heal.
Maybe some day, but today is not that day.
Notice MeLook up from your desk.
Look up from your book.
Look up from your laptop
or iPod and songs.
Why can't you see me?
Why don't you care?
Why won't you answer my letters?
Do you even know my name?
Do you even recognize my face?
Do you even think of my eyes?
Distance Between UsLoving you is harder than you can imagine.
Imagining though, is harder than loving you.
Distance makes love stronger, so they say.
They say it increases strength, but so does it pain.
Every night I lay awake close to tears.
Close to tears I lay in wait for your arms to embrace me.
Arms that will not embrace me for an unknown amount of time.
Every muscle screams when I move, calling out for you.
I call out for you in dreams. I scream. But you cannot kiss me calm.
I wake up with nightmares of you gone forever.
The nightmare feels like reality, not having you here.
Every hug from friends feels too short.
The feelings are too short, knowing that my body wishes to be held for hours.
My body longs to be held, and I know that I have no one to hold me but you.
But you're not here.
Cold is the place that I am.
I am cold without your arms. Your lips. Your words.
We go through the usual questions and answers each time we talk, but I never say what's on my mind.
I have so many burning questions on
Only My ImaginationI can see you, your short brown hair
your big brown eyes
your smile that always gives me butterflies.
I can taste you, savory on my lips
tangy in my mouth
sweet on my tongue.
I can hear you, your calm breathing next to my ear
your steady heartbeat against my chest
your soothing voice.
I can feel you, warm against my skin
cool to the touch
burning with our joint passion.
I can smell you, your cool masculine musk
your fresh clean skin hair
your strong spiced deodorant
One mistakeI made a mistake, okay?
I just wanted you to reassure me and say you'll love me anyway.
I went to you to be accepted
Now I now, I'll always be rejected.
I know it could just be a phase
Just wanted to be guided through the haze.
Instead I know now how you feel
And now I know not to be real.
I'll hide for you, hurting too
I'm sorry that I betrayed you.
You'll never love me as a whole
That thought pounds my head, taking its toll.
I wanted you to say it will be alright
But instead, now I feel like crying from the spite.
Inside now, I'm slowly dying.
But on the outside here, I'm constantly lying.
Though I had known what you would say
Still I went to you that day.
I wanted comfort and support
Instead I'll just remain a lonely fort.
I count the years left to hide
But how to stop my emotions' rising tide?
Will you ever truly love me
When there is a part that you wish would cease to be?
If I could cut it out I would
Just so you'd see me again as "good".
But I can't, and it kills me
To know that
Reality BitesReality bites
Where as he tore shreds
From the pristine pages
Of the book you once read
A promise of a Prince
And of a fairytale
On those lonely nights
Serving to regale
And offer some solace
In times of despair
When hope felt as distant
As the love you once shared
Your book was unique
Though you try to replace
The words and the images
But you still see his face
Suffocated by life
Each breath hard to find
A broken, tarnished heart
In tumultuous times
But with your pride still intact
Maybe now is the time
That for once you bite back
Fallen...I cannot find the words...
They're drowning in my thoughts...
Choking on the air...
And some how I found myself...
Don't You Know?Don't you know that you're taking her for granted?
She's not going to be there for you for long if you're never there for her
Why don't you call her every once in a while, see if she's okay
She'll appreciate it more than you think
Show her that you truly love her, tell her she's your everything
Just prove to her that she means something to you
'Cause right now she may feel unappreciated
Right now she may feel useless
So prove to her that she's special
Prove to her that she's the only one for you
'Cause you could be slowly losing her
While you spend your time doing nothing
Meet up with her every once in a while
Before she walks away
'Cause once she walks away
She's never coming back.
Your poemThis poem is from you
Written down by me
Although it isn't mine
It's yours, don't you see?
I write down the words
but they come from your mind
even though you don't know
what you leave behind
I pick up what's left
and put it all together
I don't know what I do
but it's for the better
You say you can't write
but that's not your need
Just simply be there for me
it's the poet inside me you feed
Don't KnowI don't know what I feel.
I'm annoyed; too much so to think.
I don't want to know.
I don't want to eat, sleep or drink.
I just feel low.
Though I don't feel like crying.
I don't feel upset.
I don't want to hate.
Or do something I'll regret.
What is this state?
I don't want to smile.
I don't want to frown.
Not wait for it to leave after a while.
Whilst I sit here not feeling up nor down.
Music is not helping.
It's always been there.
Making me drift to the unknown.
I can just fade away and not care.
I don't feel content yet I don't feel alone.
I need something.
I want to be hugged.
But to push you away.
Everything you say; I feel bugged.
But I want you to stay.
I don't even know.
I don't understand honey...What?
I don't know what you're talking about honey
When you go on and on about all the bad shit you see
Every word you speak is leaking
leaking of sorrow
leaking of pain
I don't see it like that hun'
'Cause all I see is the good times we had
I see your smiling face
'cause you beat me in this game too
I hear your laughter
and teasing words
as I'm being all silly again
I feel your arms around me
as you pull me closer
in a hug to make me feel safe again
'cause you've scared me with that spider-thing again
All I see is smiling faces and sparkle-eyes
All I hear is a laughing couple sharing the secret of love
All I feel is butterflies in the sky and the touch of your hand on mine
So when you speak of this so called "misery"
of all this pain
that you've carried for far too long
It breaks my heart you see
'cause I thought you were happy, too
Next to you.
Can't you see me?
Can't you feel me?
I've fought for you.
Over. And over again.
But somehow you can't acknowledge my presence.
Why is that?
I feel as if I am invisible in your eyes.
Even though I saved you a thousand times.
Are you thinking of me?
Or am I just not enough to be seen?
But how can you see me when you are in trouble?
If you can't see my now...
Why do you recognize my company when I am in some sort of aid to you?
And this often is the case...
More importantly, why do I put up with you?
Over and over again?
Perhaps my ignorance of perceiving this sick pattern as love is the real problem.
Not your self-centered way of life.
But if I try to pull away from you, I do not have anyone.
No one to be with, no one to protect.
So will I continue to be your support?
Or will I be forgotten?
Why?Why can't I be happy...
I try and try and try
I let it come to me
And when it does it brings sadness to me as well
When I'm finally happy
And everything's right
I lose him...
Then I find happiness greater then before..
And when I finally begin to fall for another
Fall harder then I ever fell
For the one that tore my heart out
Without meaning to...
I fall endlessly into a deep love
I accept it,nurture it,
I let the love drown me in it's beauty
Then it happens
Nothings happy anymore
The one I love is sick
Sick with a depression
A depression so strong I cannot fix
My heart, my nurture is but a leaf
A crinkly dry leaf
To this tree
Such a stubborn tree it is
Dark and menacing
It has my love inside
And I am too weak
Ever to fragile
To ever help him get out...
Life can be so unfair
Never any happiness.
I wonder why
I even try
To smile anymore..
I have no friends at school
My love thinks of his death
I'm all alone
Alone with the only friend I know
A teddy bear, some music ,and
You Are GoneYou smile but it's only a picture.
You laugh but it's only in my memory.
You kiss me but it's only a forgotten possibility.
You hold me in waking and sleep, but it's only a dream left behind.
Do you remember the day we met?
Do you remember the jokes we used to make?
Do you remember when I cried and you kissed me?
Do you remember when I fell asleep in your arms?
Sometimes I look at your picture and I cry.
Sometimes I relive our dates in my head.
Sometimes I think of all the possibilities we had together.
Sometimes I dream that you're still here with me.
But you don't smile at me anymore.
But you and I don't talk, let alone laugh.
But you will never kiss me again.
But you will never hold me like you once did.
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More